Late again! I’m late again! Why am I always running late! This time I blame my husband. I hadn’t talked to him in three weeks, and when he called this morning it was hard to get off the phone. His unit has been running back to back missions in Iraq and he hasn’t been able to call. Maybe I should just blame the War itself. Well, I’m sitting here in my car on the side of the road, and I’d better come up with an excuse soon, because here he comes…”
“Good morning officer! I’m so sorry I was speeding. I coach my daughter’s soccer team , and I’m running behind, and that semi came out of nowhere and just stopped in the middle of the road, and when I managed to get around him, it was too late to stop for the red light. And then I saw you pull out behind me and turn on your lights, and it made me nervous and I didn’t realize that I had turned down a one way street to pull over…OH! When will this day end!”
“Why are you laughing? That’s not why you stopped me is it? I drove half way across post with my purse on the roof of my car! Yes, thank you. I’m glad you think it’s so funny. Have a good day, officer.”
My purse! My beloved bag of treasures! You can learn a lot about a person by peeking in their handbag.
When John left for his first deployment, I was so lonely and depressed, and just plain bored. It seemed like I had all the time in the world, and then some. So if you were to look inside my bag back then, you’d see everything was nice, neat, and easy to find. Even my coupons were in alphabetical order.
Well, when John left again, I decided I wasn’t going to cry myself to sleep anymore. I would just cram my schedule as tight as I could to make the time fly by. And when he got home, I would just switch from crazy, frazzled, single mom, to peaceful, joy-filled, content wife and mother. And if I were to open my purse, it would reflect that.
The reality is, John has been home for over a year, and making that switch wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. My purse is just as a mess as I am right now. So if I’m not distracting myself from the pain of missing John, then what am I running from? Why can’t I get my priorities back on track? There has to be some happy medium between isolation and exhaustion. So my goal is to not carry around so much baggage, and change my thoughts from “Is it bed time yet?” to “I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me tomorrow.”
“Lord, when exactly was the turning point? When did I allow so many other things to invade my quiet time with You? Lord I ask that you prepare our hearts today to begin a journey to step back and take a look at what really matters to You. That when the darkness of our military lives begins to cast shadows, we will break forth with the power you’ve given us, and break free from this cycle. I ask these things in Jesus glorious name, Amen.
So today begins my journey. It is a “new dawn,” and I can’t do it without your help. We need to be there for each other, to ask for and offer support.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember all the things that Jesus has led us through in our lives because we are focused so much on the current struggle. We think that it is easier to give into the darkness than to break forth and allow Jesus to lead us through it. Tomorrow is a New Dawn. As Jesus rose from the darkness of his tomb and to new life, we can let the Lord renew are hearts and break this cycle. There is a spiritual war being fought, and we can either run from the fight and fill our lives with meaningless, numbing activities, or you can join me in a little Spring cleaning and let God decide what is important. Jesus is closer than you think to help you along. He has sent people who want to share in your pain, and love you unconditionally
“Lord, thank you for my sisters. Thank you that I don’t have to be alone with my anguish. That with Your help and their compassion I will always know that the sun will rise again, and your Glory will prevail. In Jesus name, Amen.”
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